she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
