so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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