She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize