And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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