fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
