Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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