totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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