i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
