im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he fucked my hip out of place.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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