I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
