You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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