So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just found a bag of teeth...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
