We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
