What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
