Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
