If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
