i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
