I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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