its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
