I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
