he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
