They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
