That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
