i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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