she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
