hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
