the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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