I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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