I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
