i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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