just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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