I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
