When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
