well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
