The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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