I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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