oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
