You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
