Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
