dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
