Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
