I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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