he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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