i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
