I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
