I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize