Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
