Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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