why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize