I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
