I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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