Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
