drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
