guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
