I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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