Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
