i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize