either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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