Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I met the friendliest cop last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
