chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
