sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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