He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
