i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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