Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
