after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
50% drunk capacity currently
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
