Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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