She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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