no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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