the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
