He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can I color on your dick again?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize