I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my shit smells like andre
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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