Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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