I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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