NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just google imaged poop.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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