So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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