btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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