im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
