Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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