It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
