Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
