I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
