4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
