Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
