never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
