so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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