OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
