I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I cockslap morals
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
