I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
