That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
