dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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